Cookies and ice cream are evil, bringing out the ghost in me. I am inviting negativity into my life. They are infected with hopes that something will change, somehow life will be different. After they are chewed and swallowed or just swallowed, reality sets in. Nothing ever changes. They are evil when they are on the outside of me and they are evil when they are inside of me. I feel so awful, so disgusted with myself. In the beginning I did not know any better so I could forgive myself. Now, after all these years I must know better and yet I continue, knowing that the food is infected with hopes and dreams of what could be. I become a zombie to the food, allowing it to take over as I listen to the voice and its instructions. It tells me that I can have everything I have ever wanted in my life if I listen and do exactly what I am instructed. I agree and wait patiently. I am apprehensive about what is next. How could this voice in my head know how to fix what doesn't work in my life? I feel as though I am wearing earphones that I can never take off. Someone has used superglue to keep them in place, knowing that I would grow tired and give in to the suggestions that were being offered.
I have not always been this way. I used to be happy, filled with joy, contentment and peace - What happened? I forgot who I was-I thought I needed to be different to be loved. I forgot that I am love. It is by loving myself that I feel loved. In one second I lost what it took me forever to find- Myself- or did it?
Maybe I am hiding because I feel more comfortable with the voice telling me that love is outside of me-that I need to prove to the world that I am worthy of that love. So I move around trying to find my place. Moving would be easier than sitting here, in this moment, acknowledging that I am afraid to be alone with myself. Saddened by the events that have brought me to this moment and yet feeling blessed because I would not be the person I am today without them.
So maybe-just maybe- the cookies and the ice cream are gifts. They are giving me the opportunity to choose differently, to believe in myself, to believe that I am capable of changing the voice that has been playing in my head. I can change the way I see myself and the way I interact in my world. I have the ability to change my thoughts, my Self and my future. I have the ability to change my life.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Eating Disorder Treatment - Overcoming Eating Disorders
While the term "eating disorder" brings to mind a person who is severely underweight, in reality these disorders affect people who are many different shapes and sizes. People that suffer from an eating disorder can be the stereo-typical underweight or the severely overweight person, but more commonly they are everyday people that appear to be a healthy weight. Many times these types of disorders can be brought simply by a distorted body image that gets blown way out of proportion.
Sometimes, your support and understanding are enough to help a loved one with an eating disorder, but if they are not open to hearing what you have to say, do not try to force them into believing they have a problem. Just leave yourself available to talk about it when they find that they are ready. At times, that is the best help you can offer someone. Don't forget that when you offer them words of advice, you will not get anywhere by telling them that they would get better if they would just eat - or stop eating, in the case of someone who is overweight. This will only shut more doors than it opens.
Do not blame yourself for their condition, but more importantly, while you should not be afraid to communicate your concerns, do not allow yourself to place blame on them either.
If being supportive doesn't work, professional help may be required. In extreme cases, there are ways people who suffer from these disorders can get the help they need, such as an eating disorder treatment designed specifically for their particular problem by a therapist trained in this field.
Eating disorders affect more than just a person's weight, they affect their entire body, as well as their mind. That means the longer your loved one suffers from a distorted body image, the more damage they could be doing, and this damage can become irreparable.
A doctor will be able to assess the individual's problem and to address any concerns they may have, as well as offer an effective method of treatment. Psychotherapy is often recommended. This entails either group or individual therapy that aims to help them identify what is causing them to have an eating disorder in the first place.
After identifying the root cause of a person's disorder, the individual is then taught how to successfully address the issue. Recovery is commenced by encouraging them to improve their self esteem and to begin exploring healthy ways to cope with stress and other types of emotional pain. Occasionally, family therapy is also used.
It is incredibly important that some sort of therapy is sought for these kinds of problems, since the longer a disorder is left undiagnosed, the more complicated it will be to overcome - both physically and emotionally.
Sometimes, your support and understanding are enough to help a loved one with an eating disorder, but if they are not open to hearing what you have to say, do not try to force them into believing they have a problem. Just leave yourself available to talk about it when they find that they are ready. At times, that is the best help you can offer someone. Don't forget that when you offer them words of advice, you will not get anywhere by telling them that they would get better if they would just eat - or stop eating, in the case of someone who is overweight. This will only shut more doors than it opens.
Do not blame yourself for their condition, but more importantly, while you should not be afraid to communicate your concerns, do not allow yourself to place blame on them either.
If being supportive doesn't work, professional help may be required. In extreme cases, there are ways people who suffer from these disorders can get the help they need, such as an eating disorder treatment designed specifically for their particular problem by a therapist trained in this field.
Eating disorders affect more than just a person's weight, they affect their entire body, as well as their mind. That means the longer your loved one suffers from a distorted body image, the more damage they could be doing, and this damage can become irreparable.
A doctor will be able to assess the individual's problem and to address any concerns they may have, as well as offer an effective method of treatment. Psychotherapy is often recommended. This entails either group or individual therapy that aims to help them identify what is causing them to have an eating disorder in the first place.
After identifying the root cause of a person's disorder, the individual is then taught how to successfully address the issue. Recovery is commenced by encouraging them to improve their self esteem and to begin exploring healthy ways to cope with stress and other types of emotional pain. Occasionally, family therapy is also used.
It is incredibly important that some sort of therapy is sought for these kinds of problems, since the longer a disorder is left undiagnosed, the more complicated it will be to overcome - both physically and emotionally.
Curing My Depression With the Business of Colour
Depressed and dyslexic, having been stuck teaching business English in the big banks of Luxembourg for years, I really needed to bring a little colour into my life.
Monday morning early May 2008, having just moved into my new apartment that weekend, I woke up and saw my life stretch out in front of me. A straight forward highway of English lessons to pay the bills and paid bills to teach the lessons. I crashed.
Teaching English made my dyslexia ache. The constant repetitive drone of business terms sedated my brain. The interfering micro-management of language schools, HR departments and middle managers suffocated my creative instincts. I was depressed.
Depression is a curious thing. It doesn't just affect your emotional and intellectual state, it affects the way you see the world. The walls fold up around you and everything becomes grey.
I had a few false starts: scribbled attempts at poetry, a movie script intended for Hollywood, on demand English correction via e-mail and my own home-based teaching business. None it made me much money. All of it left me feeling ashamed.
I needed to change my life. I needed a creative, visual business that I could be proud of. I needed Colour Matt.
After so many forced false starts, it happened very naturally. A borrowed camera produced surprisingly high quality results. I had studied Film & Video at Art College and, before falling into teaching English and depression, made a couple of no-budget never-to-be-seen-again features, but had always struggled with the photographic aspect.
I decided 2010 was going to be a good year. Put simply, I was bored of being depressed. I swallowed what was left of my still stubborn pride and booked an appointment with a psychiatrist. I finally admitted to myself, I needed help. I finally felt, I deserved it.
Earning money from photography proved problematic. Weddings and portraits felt too similar to what I was already doing: service industry. Online selling sites, although inspiring, were at best, a long term, long shot. But unlike in the recent past, I refused not to move forward.
'We love it! It's the most original film we've seen in years, but we just can't make any money from it.' The words of a distributor back in 2004 have quietly haunted me since. I'd like to say my work was just too edgy, too ahead of its time, but in truthful hindsight, I was only making films for myself.
I won't speak publicly about a large part of my depression (it involves other people), but I can't help feeling that the last dismal five years have somehow been necessary. An inevitable need to finally listen to what had polluted all of my films, that curing my depression is an intrinsic part of being able to produce quality work.
I think of my depression as an addiction. A barbed wire blanket I wrapped around myself. A desperate self-destructive last line of defence against feelings I couldn't bear to feel. Like all addictions, once I got clean I had to face up to all the reasons I started using depression in the first place.
Trying to build a successful online business is immensely stressful. I still worry about money all the time. The indifference of the market place can feel a lot like a personal, humiliating rejection (get over it Toby). But, at the end of the day, I'm excited about the possibilities of next day. It's worth it.
Teaching English wasn't stressful at all. Being average at my job was not just acceptable, it was required: 'Just teach the text book Toby'. Like going to a mechanic to ask them what needs to be fixed on your car, teachers were encouraged first to 'under evaluate' clients, in order to secure contracts, and then 'over evaluate' their progress to keep HR departments happy.
I think this is one of the most misunderstood aspects of depression. In my experience depression doesn't occur when a person's life is too difficult, it occurs when a person's life is too, nothing. People, who are not depressed, think of depression as intense sadness. Sadness is a healthy, vital emotion. Depression is not sadness, nor is it any emotion, it is nothing.
It is an odd thing to realise you have not 'felt' for years. What I thought was sadness, was in fact depression. What I thought was happiness, was in fact anxiety: depression / anxiety, up / down.
Over the past few years, I've read a lot of articles about depression. They fall into two basic categories: personal stories and how-to-cure-depression-in-blah-blah-easy-steps-self-help-guides. The first is almost always fascinating and ultimately comforting in its honesty. The second is almost always tedious, glib one-size-fits-all arrogance, seldom written by anyone who has ever suffered from depression.
I hope this article falls into the first category. This is what works for me. John Lennon sang, 'Whatever gets you through the night, it's alright': Sine qua non. Without creativity, my life doesn't make much sense to me. However ridiculous and self indulgent that may or may not be; that is how it is.
I need to be able to create, both in terms of production and in the overall approach to my business. To work in a business where cheeky, outside the box solutions are essential. I never want to find myself in the position of having to be average, where I am obliged to add to the grey again.
I was 19 when I said 'no' to an interview at Cambridge University. I wanted to go to Film School. I felt that life was hard regardless of what you do, so you might as well do what you want. I've questioned that decision in the past five years many times. I've worried that it was the arrogance of youth, rather than the insight I believed it to be at the time.
They say the test of any decision is, given the same set of circumstances, would make the same choice again. At 33 I find myself taking chances again, and feeling more alive than I have in years. That arrogant kid wasn't far wrong:
Find that one thing that brings meaning to your life. And make sure, whatever else happens, you always have it in your life. It'll help you get through the night.
I was born & grew up in the North of England. I now live in Luxembourg.
I first learned my photography in the guise of film-making which I did at Art Collage for three years. Like most filmmakers of my generation I did a lot of my work on video, but I also had the good fortune to work with 16mm film on several projects. After leaving Art Collage I had a fair crack at independent (noooo budget) film-making, but stopped when I felt I'd reached an impasse.
About two years ago (after being bored out of my mind teaching English in various Investment Banks here in Luxembourg) I borrowed my sister's Canon 400D camera, and started to take a few photographs. Having not been very good at the photography component of my degree, I was as surprised as anyone to discover I could actually take one or two decent photographs.
With 12 original designs in 6 eye-catching colour schemes over 16 different products, Colour Matt allows you to pick 'n' mix your favourite designs & colours, customize and place on the products you like best.
Brighten up your darkest days with fun and friendly products for your home or office, university or school: binders, calendars, magnets and mousepads, mugs, posters and stickers.
Share the colour with your family, friends and loved ones: greeting cards, postcards and stamps.
Take the colour wherever you go and brighten the lives of everyone you meet: bags, bumper stickers, buttons and keychains, shoes and skateboards.
Monday morning early May 2008, having just moved into my new apartment that weekend, I woke up and saw my life stretch out in front of me. A straight forward highway of English lessons to pay the bills and paid bills to teach the lessons. I crashed.
Teaching English made my dyslexia ache. The constant repetitive drone of business terms sedated my brain. The interfering micro-management of language schools, HR departments and middle managers suffocated my creative instincts. I was depressed.
Depression is a curious thing. It doesn't just affect your emotional and intellectual state, it affects the way you see the world. The walls fold up around you and everything becomes grey.
I had a few false starts: scribbled attempts at poetry, a movie script intended for Hollywood, on demand English correction via e-mail and my own home-based teaching business. None it made me much money. All of it left me feeling ashamed.
I needed to change my life. I needed a creative, visual business that I could be proud of. I needed Colour Matt.
After so many forced false starts, it happened very naturally. A borrowed camera produced surprisingly high quality results. I had studied Film & Video at Art College and, before falling into teaching English and depression, made a couple of no-budget never-to-be-seen-again features, but had always struggled with the photographic aspect.
I decided 2010 was going to be a good year. Put simply, I was bored of being depressed. I swallowed what was left of my still stubborn pride and booked an appointment with a psychiatrist. I finally admitted to myself, I needed help. I finally felt, I deserved it.
Earning money from photography proved problematic. Weddings and portraits felt too similar to what I was already doing: service industry. Online selling sites, although inspiring, were at best, a long term, long shot. But unlike in the recent past, I refused not to move forward.
'We love it! It's the most original film we've seen in years, but we just can't make any money from it.' The words of a distributor back in 2004 have quietly haunted me since. I'd like to say my work was just too edgy, too ahead of its time, but in truthful hindsight, I was only making films for myself.
I won't speak publicly about a large part of my depression (it involves other people), but I can't help feeling that the last dismal five years have somehow been necessary. An inevitable need to finally listen to what had polluted all of my films, that curing my depression is an intrinsic part of being able to produce quality work.
I think of my depression as an addiction. A barbed wire blanket I wrapped around myself. A desperate self-destructive last line of defence against feelings I couldn't bear to feel. Like all addictions, once I got clean I had to face up to all the reasons I started using depression in the first place.
Trying to build a successful online business is immensely stressful. I still worry about money all the time. The indifference of the market place can feel a lot like a personal, humiliating rejection (get over it Toby). But, at the end of the day, I'm excited about the possibilities of next day. It's worth it.
Teaching English wasn't stressful at all. Being average at my job was not just acceptable, it was required: 'Just teach the text book Toby'. Like going to a mechanic to ask them what needs to be fixed on your car, teachers were encouraged first to 'under evaluate' clients, in order to secure contracts, and then 'over evaluate' their progress to keep HR departments happy.
I think this is one of the most misunderstood aspects of depression. In my experience depression doesn't occur when a person's life is too difficult, it occurs when a person's life is too, nothing. People, who are not depressed, think of depression as intense sadness. Sadness is a healthy, vital emotion. Depression is not sadness, nor is it any emotion, it is nothing.
It is an odd thing to realise you have not 'felt' for years. What I thought was sadness, was in fact depression. What I thought was happiness, was in fact anxiety: depression / anxiety, up / down.
Over the past few years, I've read a lot of articles about depression. They fall into two basic categories: personal stories and how-to-cure-depression-in-blah-blah-easy-steps-self-help-guides. The first is almost always fascinating and ultimately comforting in its honesty. The second is almost always tedious, glib one-size-fits-all arrogance, seldom written by anyone who has ever suffered from depression.
I hope this article falls into the first category. This is what works for me. John Lennon sang, 'Whatever gets you through the night, it's alright': Sine qua non. Without creativity, my life doesn't make much sense to me. However ridiculous and self indulgent that may or may not be; that is how it is.
I need to be able to create, both in terms of production and in the overall approach to my business. To work in a business where cheeky, outside the box solutions are essential. I never want to find myself in the position of having to be average, where I am obliged to add to the grey again.
I was 19 when I said 'no' to an interview at Cambridge University. I wanted to go to Film School. I felt that life was hard regardless of what you do, so you might as well do what you want. I've questioned that decision in the past five years many times. I've worried that it was the arrogance of youth, rather than the insight I believed it to be at the time.
They say the test of any decision is, given the same set of circumstances, would make the same choice again. At 33 I find myself taking chances again, and feeling more alive than I have in years. That arrogant kid wasn't far wrong:
Find that one thing that brings meaning to your life. And make sure, whatever else happens, you always have it in your life. It'll help you get through the night.
I was born & grew up in the North of England. I now live in Luxembourg.
I first learned my photography in the guise of film-making which I did at Art Collage for three years. Like most filmmakers of my generation I did a lot of my work on video, but I also had the good fortune to work with 16mm film on several projects. After leaving Art Collage I had a fair crack at independent (noooo budget) film-making, but stopped when I felt I'd reached an impasse.
About two years ago (after being bored out of my mind teaching English in various Investment Banks here in Luxembourg) I borrowed my sister's Canon 400D camera, and started to take a few photographs. Having not been very good at the photography component of my degree, I was as surprised as anyone to discover I could actually take one or two decent photographs.
With 12 original designs in 6 eye-catching colour schemes over 16 different products, Colour Matt allows you to pick 'n' mix your favourite designs & colours, customize and place on the products you like best.
Brighten up your darkest days with fun and friendly products for your home or office, university or school: binders, calendars, magnets and mousepads, mugs, posters and stickers.
Share the colour with your family, friends and loved ones: greeting cards, postcards and stamps.
Take the colour wherever you go and brighten the lives of everyone you meet: bags, bumper stickers, buttons and keychains, shoes and skateboards.
Major Causes of Teeth Discoloration
According to tooth whitening Glasgow dentists, tooth whitening solutions are affordable and available to most Glasgow residents. However, only 15% of patients requiring a tooth whitening process every consider the various options available to them. This is mainly due to ignorance and misinformation. There are teeth whitening options available for all budgets and for all patient temperaments and the whitening process will always leave your teeth significantly whiter and brighter than before.
Types of Teeth Discoloration
There are two types of teeth discoloration. Extrinsic teeth stains are discoloration that are caused by external factors such as smoking, drinking and aging. The dirt or discoloration is on the teeth enamel. This means that the original tooth is okay and with removal of the dirt, the teeth should be back to normal. If the extrinsic stains are mild, you can remove them by simple dental processes such as brushing your teeth or prophylactic dental cleaning. On the other hand, if the strains are strong, you may require other more forceful treatments such as teeth bleaching. If not managed in good time, the extrinsic stains can get ingrained into your teeth and thereby forming a permanent stain.
Intrinsic teeth stains are stains that form from within your teeth. Such stains can be caused by teeth being exposed to tetracycline and other related minerals especially during teeth formation. Taking a lot of fluoride in your diet also causes intrinsic stains.
Major Causes of Teeth Discoloration
There are different causes of both extrinsic and intrinsic teeth discoloration.
Age of the Patient
As one grows older, their teeth get more discolored because of the regular food stains and due to wear and tear. This is a natural aging process. However, dentists advise that proper dental hygiene will maintain your teeth color for longer. When applying the whitening solutions, it may be harder for older people to whiten their teeth as compared to younger individuals. The stains for the elderly people have been more ingrained into the teeth making it harder to remove.
Genetic traits of Your Teeth
There are also genetic discoloration traits that become more profound with age. For example, thin teeth that are more translucent get discolored much easily and it may be harder to whiten such teeth.
Eating, Drinking and Smoking Habits
There are various foods that affect the color of your teeth when taken excessively. These include cola, wines especially red wine, carrots, coffee and other strong color foods and beverages. Certain foods such as fruits with a lot of citric acid may also cause discoloration. Smoking is also a major cause of teeth discoloration.
Cracked Teeth
If your teeth are cracked because of any trauma experience, the cracks can let in dirt which will discolor your teeth in the long run.
Teeth Whitening Solutions
There are several tooth whitening solutions available to anyone with discolored teeth. The solutions used depends on the extent of the stains and the preference of the dentist and the patient.
Peroxide Gel
One solution for tooth whitening is application on Peroxide Gel. The gel may be applied by a dentist or trained technical person. During the gel application, the teeth gum must be protected by a rubber dam. The gel is applied thrice in 20 minute intervals. If the stains persist, you may need to re-apply the process.
Take-Home Whitening Kits
Take home whitening kits produce significant results when used consistently over some time. This kit has a much more dilute gel of Peroxide that can be applied at home. It is applied using a custom-made bleaching trays similar to a sportsman mouth guard. The tray remains in your teeth for about an hour.
Over-the-counter Bleaching
Over the counter bleaching solutions are the cheapest treatment for whitening teeth. The gel is available in most chemists. It is applied using whitening stick-on strips or gel painting tools. The effect of teeth whitening is much slower with this process as compared to other solutions. It is best used for people with light extrinsic stains.
Types of Teeth Discoloration
There are two types of teeth discoloration. Extrinsic teeth stains are discoloration that are caused by external factors such as smoking, drinking and aging. The dirt or discoloration is on the teeth enamel. This means that the original tooth is okay and with removal of the dirt, the teeth should be back to normal. If the extrinsic stains are mild, you can remove them by simple dental processes such as brushing your teeth or prophylactic dental cleaning. On the other hand, if the strains are strong, you may require other more forceful treatments such as teeth bleaching. If not managed in good time, the extrinsic stains can get ingrained into your teeth and thereby forming a permanent stain.
Intrinsic teeth stains are stains that form from within your teeth. Such stains can be caused by teeth being exposed to tetracycline and other related minerals especially during teeth formation. Taking a lot of fluoride in your diet also causes intrinsic stains.
Major Causes of Teeth Discoloration
There are different causes of both extrinsic and intrinsic teeth discoloration.
Age of the Patient
As one grows older, their teeth get more discolored because of the regular food stains and due to wear and tear. This is a natural aging process. However, dentists advise that proper dental hygiene will maintain your teeth color for longer. When applying the whitening solutions, it may be harder for older people to whiten their teeth as compared to younger individuals. The stains for the elderly people have been more ingrained into the teeth making it harder to remove.
Genetic traits of Your Teeth
There are also genetic discoloration traits that become more profound with age. For example, thin teeth that are more translucent get discolored much easily and it may be harder to whiten such teeth.
Eating, Drinking and Smoking Habits
There are various foods that affect the color of your teeth when taken excessively. These include cola, wines especially red wine, carrots, coffee and other strong color foods and beverages. Certain foods such as fruits with a lot of citric acid may also cause discoloration. Smoking is also a major cause of teeth discoloration.
Cracked Teeth
If your teeth are cracked because of any trauma experience, the cracks can let in dirt which will discolor your teeth in the long run.
Teeth Whitening Solutions
There are several tooth whitening solutions available to anyone with discolored teeth. The solutions used depends on the extent of the stains and the preference of the dentist and the patient.
Peroxide Gel
One solution for tooth whitening is application on Peroxide Gel. The gel may be applied by a dentist or trained technical person. During the gel application, the teeth gum must be protected by a rubber dam. The gel is applied thrice in 20 minute intervals. If the stains persist, you may need to re-apply the process.
Take-Home Whitening Kits
Take home whitening kits produce significant results when used consistently over some time. This kit has a much more dilute gel of Peroxide that can be applied at home. It is applied using a custom-made bleaching trays similar to a sportsman mouth guard. The tray remains in your teeth for about an hour.
Over-the-counter Bleaching
Over the counter bleaching solutions are the cheapest treatment for whitening teeth. The gel is available in most chemists. It is applied using whitening stick-on strips or gel painting tools. The effect of teeth whitening is much slower with this process as compared to other solutions. It is best used for people with light extrinsic stains.
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